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Panjandrum [Few Rules] |
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The unspoken rule in my blog: The board is for short greetings, the comment system (represented by: Love Me) are there in case you want to post a novel. I mean, if you want to comment on a certain entry. Please be respectful; I don't want word wars to happen in my place!
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Here is my letter to my twenty-one years old self.
I figured this'd be a good time to update this long-neglected blog. I hope it'd be stored till next year though. XD
---- 12/7/2008 7:30 pm to that lovely, self-assured young lady reading this letter, hi mia! now that you're twenty-one years old, how is life treating you? are you still standing, holding to those principles you've learned the past year of being "serious" (sort of)? i've always had faith in you because i know you can prove a lot. you have this unique glimmer even made brighter by the way you value the people around you. self-confidence will make you shine. i hope by this time you have seen that beauty and are using it well. what are you up to, my dear? how much have you changed physically? are you already slim? with short boy-cut hair as you've been itching to do? do you have an updated fashion sense? how meticulous are you now when it comes to beauty, health and hygiene? still o.c? do wear makeup as you've planned to? whatever it is that you're planning to change, just do it. i'm saying this again: uniqueness. are you still a fan of ohyass, yuya tegoshi, morning musume, sid, one ok rock, and all those things japanese? do you still read manga and anime? do you still compose sickly-sweet love songs and draw anime? do you still write fanfiction and poems? oh, and how about "dr. friendship and her alien friend"? is it still airing every month? do you still spend prolonged hours sitting in front of the computer updating your livejournal and browsing communities? i know your love for that yuya tegoshi guy won't cease that easily because that guy is more than fandom. he is your greatest inspiration to change yourself and make things happen. he is the reason why you've gained quite a lot of confidence on your abilities, so... make that dream of meeting him and doing a duet with him happen too. about your other fandoms, i hope you don't overdo it. fangirling is a good way to destress, but please don't make them take over your life. you have lots of plans, remember? you want to drive a car, learn three more languages, be more athletic, learn how to cook for serious, learn martial arts, and take a boxing class. don't stay in front of the pc and waste your life away! come on, ACTION! D: i hope you continue removing that fear of failures out of your system. you had a good start this 2008. also, don't be too sensitive when people don't like you for being you. continue shining. you may not be that perky, blindingly-genki girl whom everyone adores, but you have a power innate in you. sure it hurts when they don't agree with you, but it is not your loss. you're special because you are that way. if no one else likes you, just love yourself. go on. in this life, you only got yourself to depend on. always. you got a good mind so hold your head high. use it well. trust your instincts. however, it won't hurt to read the signs and ask others. open your mouth and make yourself heard. stop being autistic! XD last thing, i really really hope you're more organized now. remember that 5S principle that you've always adored when you first entered your work. speaking of work, do you enjoy it, or are you already burnt out, to the extent of being grumpy to EVERYONE? i hope you aren't. remember you promised you'd be a good nurse not because of the money it'd bring but because you enjoy the feeling of being able to help out others? please, don't give up on that dream. right about the time you're reading this, maybe you're complaining that your compensation is way too low, and your eyesight is getting worse. maybe you already got many pains around your body. mia, what the hell are you doing?! i understand you love taking care of others, but take care of yourself first! hospitalization is very expensive, and i know how much you value money, you stingy person! XD being thrifty goes a long way. a little more pushing and striving and i am sure you'll find your passport out of this country. of course, you would not want to live here forever, right? you are destined to travel as i see it. make your unique glimmer known worldwide! :D i hope you continue bridging in that gap between you and your family. you've been distant to them when you were younger; now that you're older, it's high time you discern the value of their wisdom. they are your most loyal fans. about your friends, i hope you have selected the right - and good - ones. keep the precious friends you have gained during your childhood; they are worth keeping because they understand you most. if ever you have picked the not-so good ones recently, just get their right attitudes and maintain your own. like i said, you have your own glimmer. shine it well on others. you are influential, mia, so influence! XD and speaking of relations, don't let people hanging. interact more. i know you're not the super expressive type, but i am highly hoping you have improved on how frequent you communicate with your friends. do not leave them hanging! answer calls/messages promptly please! if you cannot keep a promise, don't make it instead of breaking it every single fakken time. OK? OK. do you have a boyfriend... or perhaps a girlfriend? i hope by this time you are in the process of finding that someone who has the power to change your stubborn beliefs in some way. you have come across two people over the past who had that effect, sadly they're now on someone elses' side. but don't despair; if no one comes along, your friends and family are there. show them more love than ever. and i repeat, love yourself and be happy with what you do. it's the best people-magnet. last thing, god. do you still communicate with him? i hope you do. he's always there, so don't hesitate to come and tell him everything. even if people doubt his existence, just believe in him, an invisible friend. to correct what i've written; if no one else loves you, you got yourself, your family, friends, and most of all, that one up above who knows you like the palm of his hand. keep the faith! (pun intended... that is, if you can still get the pun. XD) oh. i'm supposed to be sleeping now. tomorrow's another work day. i'm feeling quite fearful... but i hope by the time you read this, all those fears are gone and you are living contentedly. and most of all, with integrity. ganbarou. i love you. from this sleepy girl who's dreaming of a brighter tomorrow for herself, mia, twenty years old. 12/7/2008 8:57 pm |
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I ordered isolation in my life's menu. |
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[date] Thursday, February 24, 2005
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This is exactly what's going on in me life now, and perhaps it can help my overcome it. Too bad I got no time to rant more about my Valentine's escapades, and boohoo, too bad I haven't updated Naluto for the Valentine's season. But I know you're waiting... I really do. XD *Maki is a conceited blotch*
I am currently undergoing the hardest phase of the Final term. Teachers are cramming and stuffing their lessons (which by the way is made up of four LONG chapters) in our silly young minds for approximately five days. Projects are lurking in the dark, somewhere, nearby... you know, with those professors' demented minds, you don't know when they're gonna strike. THREE gigantic research papers are thrown smack on my face, and their deadlines are fast approaching... not to mention chasing around your evul masters for your reports and other blah-blah requirements to pass the term. And yeah, MIDTERM was H-E-L-L. Yan kasi, absent nang absent. Tinatamaritis! Nine freaking points I've lost due to a silly sickness. Aww yeah, plain yeah. I wish I can still make it to the list. *prays* Talk about nervous breakdowns; I haven't slept well for almost a week! GAH. *nosebleeds* With that, I can safely say that I MUST order isolation in my online life's menu for a while. LONG HIATUS?! Hell, no! I'll be back in March with a new layout, that I am sure. So hush, people, don't shed too much tears. Don't miss me too much, kiddos. (oh kay... like, WEH?!)
[track] Miyavi - Pop is Dead
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Romeo, Romeo, where art thou, my Romeo? *vomits* |
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[date] Tuesday, February 15, 2005
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Okay, as I've promised, I'll post an entry inspired by Mushroom's post last January 26. Since it's the love month, I'll rant about something I've never talked before, and that's MARRIAGE and FAMILY LIFE! *stumbles* This looong entry will be chopped in three parts, with the first as follows.
As an opener, I've read on a health magazine last year that as early as around fifteen (in other countries!), a girl should define things regarding her perfect man, not for kalandian purposes, but for her to know what she is looking for and see the improvements as she grows old. Since it interests me, let me define mine. *nerve twitches* Oh kay, now I am g-g-getting n-nervous, a-aren't *hands go shaky* I? *clears throat* This list is pretty much inspired by my admiration for my dad... *bows* Also, take note that I have preferences that are quite weird. Just quite. 1.) He should be a Christian. If not -that- strictly, benevolence will be one way to show that he believes in God's commandments. 2.) Not necessarily good-looking, but I want him to be chinky-eyed, with neat hairstyle, tall, fair-skinned, and with well-built yet lean physique. Little definition will do. I HATE BULGING MUSCLES. Eww, scary. 3.) He must have a good sense of style. Need not to be loud, just simple yet catchy. Like he has one accessory that only he has or is rare. 4.) He must be orderly, more orderly than I do. XD He must know how to keep things in good shape for a long time (since I tend to break things just by touching them.) and must maintain himself well. He must have sufficient knowledge on repairs, in short a handyman. I like someone who labels stuff, like dates and groupings of things in boxes. 5.) Outgoing yet mysterious (whew, contradictions!) You know, someone whose mind I can psych out. ('sides, discovery makes one relationship last long. For me at least!) He must have a critical yet open mind, well-read on issues and has opinions of his own. He must be frank but not tactless, must know how to compliment someone sincerely, how to open a good conversation and to listen well when I talk. 6.) He must be sentimental. Seriously, I love men who aren't afraid to show their vulnerable sides to women, who knows how to cry. (aww, I love frail men. Seeing his heart shatter makes me realize that I really love him and he needs me. Weird, no?) He knows how to relate to music and literature. Preferrably, he makes some poems. (kahit free verse!) 7.) Because I am NOT like these: He must know a lot of places. Hindi ligawin, kumbaga. He must know how to dance and have the temperance to teach me, must know at least 3 sports, must be patient, must know how to drive a car (duh?!) and must have clear vision. *sniggers* 8.) Because I am like these: He must know how to keep secrets well-hidden and respect someone's private space, must be optimistic, honest, fond of music and photography, must be computer and/or web literate, must be caring, encouraging, helpful and supportive not only to me but to others as well. Last in this category, having deep reverence to his parents and relatives and humility is a BIG plus point for me. 9.) Someone who has the same ambitions and wants as mine, like to travel, know a foreign language or two, reach Italy, Germany and France, have our own photo or recording studio, and a writing career perhaps, or he'll support me in mine (if there'll be any!) 10.) He must not necessarily be TOO showy on his love for me (since I am also not!), but he does make me feel special in a discreet yet striking way. (Hehehe, mababaw lang naman ang kaligayahan ko.) He's someone who knows how to cook up good surprises on special occasions. When he's with me, I want him to ACT AS HE IS. (See how guys act all out polite in front of their girlfriends, and when she's gone, he'll wish for her to die for being too demanding? PLASTIK!) When we argue, I want him to keep his cool and keep distance for a while until everything "hot" inside is cleared up, and thus we can talk as calmly as we can. I hate naggers and trashers. (Like, I AM supposed to be the nagger here?!) ** Lastly, someone who'll accept me as I am: flaws, flabs and all. Wow, I've written so much. Next entry will be out around a week from now; I loathe reports, research papers and pop-up reaction stuff. Lates.
[track] Buck Tick - My Fuckin Valentine
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Birthday ko ngayon XD! |
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[date] Saturday, February 12, 2005
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[This entry is typed only now (Feb 13, 2005 @ 3:32 PM). DARN ECCENTRIX, they're experiencing downtime! So, inutakan ko na lang. I really love Pitas. *grins*]
People who aren't afraid to say their age and birthday are direct and open to change - my philosophy Come to think of it; I DO have a birthday! Ain't that nice? XP The title's true; I just rose one step up the stairs of maturity. Let's just hope my brain wasn't left behind. Well it was... actually, it popped up my skull and rolled down the steps. Then it was squashed by a passerby. *laughs* What to change? Weeell, I don't want to change. People say I act WAY TOO childish for my age, but SO WHAT? I want myself to stay this way. Besides, I don't want to be like them, worrying the world away. Ayaw kong maagnas ang mukha ko sa sobrang make-up no! What to promise? I don't want to promise anything not because of laziness (maybe a part!) but it's simply because I am not sure if I can fulfill them. As what I've been observing on myself lately, I make mga pangakong napapako, and I believe that promising is unnecessary; it'll be of more weight if people will just see the slow but sure change in you right? Riiiight. (is there a hint of sarcasm in that statement?!) So, what happened today? Lemme see... I woke up seven in the morning to clean our whole house, then attended class at three up to four-thirty in the afternoon. (darn this, we just went there for attendance!) It's worth the while anyway because while in it I came to discover the funny sides of my classmates. I even found out someone who's also residing in the blogging world, and I've also known an anime addict (Saiyuki addict to be exact) there. This afternoon, a blessing in disguise happened... I've been Anyway, I went home and later, my friends came. The people in here waaay earlier were Mikan, Cogi, Aja, Angge, and Ryo. Too bad Beret didn't come because of something ain't clear. XD And... next time, Sakura-sama, please remember to mark my day on your calendar. *grin* The evening proceeded with 100% pure dose of insanity, including pairing Aja and Beret at the Love-a-palooza (I am NOT AWARE of the spelling, so pardon), pinching and harutan, and pigging out over my treat. Um yeah, like I was wondering, Mayroon bang halong pampa-high yung pinainom kong black gulaman at kayo'y nagkakaganyan?! (Kayo talaga! Nagtataka ang mga magulang ko pag-alis niyo kung paano niyo naubos yung three pitchers worth of gulaman! *sniggers*) Oh yes, I would be humble and open enough to say I helped out on cooking the spaghetti, the siomai, and the menudo. *smiles* Especially the siomai. *grins again* [More details and pics on this event on Aja's blog.] About nine in the evening, they already went home... and I was like very happy because they came. Or more like, my whole Valentine's is complete because he came... XD What I don't know is that there's something fishy going on around the corner of our dark subdivision. I went back home and as soon as I settled my butt on the sofa to relax, someone knocked on the gate... Tao po, tao po, pwede po bang mangharana? I practically fell down on my seat upon seeing my college friends, the boys of FightingDreamers (Naruto, Neji, Shino and Kiba), standing there wearing barong tagalogs... serenading me! *faints* So yeah, these guys are insane... The festivities ended an hour before I typed this entry. And yeah, I am spent. Too bad my friends are loud, insane, and hyperactive to boot... *falls down her bed and snores* - February || Brief Insights - I personally love the month of my birth despite the circulating thought that people born in February suffer from mental illnesses (if you put it in Filipino euphemism. maluwang ang turnilyo) It's the month of romance... wait, don't think I am a very romantic person. What I meant is that I value relationships with other people very much. The sound of February on one's lips is kind of hard to say, as compared to me who's difficult to define. Even the weather describes me well: sunny, outgoing and cheery on the exterior, but cold, secretive and reserved on certain occasions suitable for it. The climate on other countries during this time is late winter and the sun's rays filter through the thick haze, bringing silvery and frosty light to each morn... which is a good sight to see. For my personality, it well describes how I slice through crowds' boundaries, giving them what they want. And so people say the can easily relate to me. *smiles* Whee, what a compliment! It's also the time of the year when macopas bloom profusely. (That makes me think of making a macopa layout February next year!) We have one in our backyard, and I am veeeery annoyed when the wind blows because its petals (those yellow, hair-like strands) fall to the ground in large patches... and I am always cleaning the backyard. (darn!) That makes my work MUCH MORE laborious. But as you can see when it produces fruits, it's always in large numbers, and it lasts for around two whole months let's say. Compared to my personality, most often people see me as a big burden but they never know what difference I can REALLY make. (if there'll be ANY. *sweat*) As an ender, I'll post a song I composed about, as the title implies, a birthday. But it's about someone else's birthday bastardized by his peers' kantiyaw and his family's apathy towards it. This is sung to the tune of Parokya ni Edgar's Inuman Na. Below are the lyrics. Birthday ko Na Composed by: Maki Nekoi Download my song~! Don't steal, morons! Maglalabas ako ng tuna Kulang na kulang ang isa Maglalabas ako ng baso Iinuman ng tatay ko. Pare, gusto ko nang magyosi Kaso ay walang pansindi Anong klaseng kasama to, Kayo ba ay mga bato? (CHORUS) Eto na nga't birthday ko na Wala man lang nakapuna Nananakit na'ng lalamunan At ang tiyan ay kumakalam Kabilaan ang pagbati Sabay ang pilit na ngiti Kinabahan na nang todo Binanatan ko ng takbo Parang pang-marathon ang laban Tuluy-tuloy lang ang takbuhan Masakit na ang paa ko Uuwi pa ba ng bahay ko? (CHORUS 2) Eto na nga't birthday ko na Tropa ko'y nangangantiyaw na Nananakit ang lalamunan Sa blow-out ko'y nakaabang. (INSTRUMENTAL... MONOLOGUE?!) (REPEAT CHORUS 2) Wala ako ni isang kusing.... Happy Birthday to me~! XD
[track] Fairy Fore - VIVID
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After the Brain Drain, there's Bloglife! |
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And yes, Midterm's DONE! Finally, I can rest. *puts up her feet*
This layout is just in tune with the Valentine's music. The month's February, and I was supposed to make a Shino/Maki layout... too bad I lacked time to draw something. So yeah, stick with this lovely mocca layout. (Those are boys, in case you haven't noticed!) This entry will be mostly randomness inspired by other peoples' entries. This is the way I make up for my loss... - Lulutuin Kayo ni Gaara ngayong Valentine's Season... - First off, the Naluto project is ongoing. Please bear with us, because we haven't got all the time in the world to update. As for now, I am about to update. When? Tomorrow, if fates will let me! Orochimaru's two forgotten songs (I forgot to upload them. SORRY!) plus the defective lyrics links are already fixed. Introduction and Chapter one already edited, new poll added (please vote) and the Adik ka na sa Naluto Kapag list updated. Don't know Naluto yet? Go there and check it out! What to expect on the next update? Spoilers for the excited, we have a Valentine's Special Album (as what we've told Mushroom and Kurayami) dedicated to straight pairings. Youngsters and yaoi haters, it's your turn to download. Do keep your eyes glued on it. About plans... she had set her blog into a big hiatus just so she could focus on her studies and making songs and chapters. We have recently planned Orochimaru's next album (READER: Go and finish Ssseductionnn~ first! MAKI: There's no harm in planning. *sweat*) It will focus on Filipino novelty songs like Kikay, Sana Mama, and our all-time fave Basketbol! *ROFL* This upcoming album will surely make you fart due to endless laughter. (just like what happened to me as we were planning it) About the story, we're currently on the Second Test, chapter 9. I am rewriting stuff, and will be typing them later this month. Now your curiosities are answered. :) - Where to Blog? What to Love? - As you all know, especially my stalkers out there, I have an LJ account. But to admit, it's just surge of curiosity that sent me there. I doubt if I'll be blogging there later, because I just can't seem to express myself on that site. My "animated" side's sleeping nowadays due to studies and chores. I'll just make my account there as a community-oriented one from now on; don't expect entries on my main blog. Lastly, I love this site! I don't know, but it seems like there's no other blogging space that'll last as long as this one. In here I can go from angsty to animated to ultra-hyper anytime; there're no structure to limit me! I AM FREE! Actually, I feel sad for the sites that are left behind by their owners for a reason ain't clear. That's the reason why I don't erase blog links that are on hiatus or left behind. Also, I strongly believe that they will still come back. For me, I believe that I will come back on Nekoism. Give me time; I'll think about it. - I'm in L-O-V-E! (Yeah right...) - Just like I promised, I'll blog about this current crush of mine and my best friend (of course this whole thing's just a neat joke). He's GAY! Mas babae pa nga siyang kumilos kesa sa amin! *melts* I admit I just admire his discreet behavior and shyness. I haven't talked to him for he just pops out in our Fil class. (I'm sad!) But we often see him/her nowadays. (whoa, could this mean we're MFEO!? *faints* [Meant for each other]) There was one time when we're walking down the street for lunch, and then he/she appeared in his/her all-feminine glory. It was like we "hanged up"; we stood there in awe, our eyes popping out and warily observing his/her every move. Actually, he/she passed beside me... AAAAH! To tell, if he we're a boy, then I could've really fallen for him. Too bad he isn't. - On Blog's Publicity - In relation to Jayson's post concerning this thing, yes, I've thought about it, like many, many times. In the beginning I also feared the fact that upon opening this site, people, especially strangers, will know my darkest secrets and every detail of my life. You know, tis just a matter of choosing what to blog. I mean, you're not compelled to type the whole of your biography in yours. To be open, I've thought of quitting blogging because of that mindset, but then I found out that I can't do away anymore. (A-D-I-K na!) Why I blog? It's because of the reasons of self-expression, interest to read others' thoughts and reacting on them. I also want to observe how my life principles and interests mature, and look back on them when I grow old. Just now, reading my previous posts brings back fond memories. What more if I read them five to ten years from now? (Just hope the servers where you saved your posts still work!) - Musical Hypocrisies - [!-- WARNING: SKIP IF SENSITIVE TO BASHING --] A songs' quality is affected by the type of audience who listen to it and their attitudes toward it. Honestly, I view songs as of low-quality as compared to songs that date back to early-late 1990s. Take as an example, Usher and Keys' My Boo and Kitchie Nadal's Wag na Wag mong Sasabihin. They're two beautiful songs, especially the lyrics. But will you consider it beautiful if it's WAY TOO overplayed in your radio, and the people who listen to it are like, trying hard to be cool? They're appearing to be trying too hard to project a "because I listen to this song, I am angas or astig." image. People, especially men, do this by staying at a place playing LOUD rock music while puffing cigarettes and blowing them in front of your face like kapres and tikbalangs. I oftentimes wonder what other people think of them. I visualize girls saying, Ang angas nung isang yun, oh! Crush ko na siya!! *with matching tili and kilig* and wonder HOW the HELL they come to like those jologs. That's my definition of jologs now. Listening to Tagalog novelty songs doesn't mean you're squatter, and it's the attitude a person projects on listening to music that makes them jologs. (context of music here, ok?) Also, don't you find it stupid when people hate an oldies song because "it's an oldie", but let some modern "feeling rock band" revive it and they'll go like, "Aaaaah!" "I LOVE IT!" (Take the concept of Madonna's Crazy for You revived by Spongecola as an example)?! Hey hey hey, WAKE UP PEOPLE! It's just the singer that's changed, not the song nor the rhythm itself. And the concept of Jologs enter the scene again. You hate oldies because you think they're lame! I must admit that the song's nice (though it looks like he's trying to make his voice ala-Alex Band), but it's the people's attitudes I am talking about here. STOP BEING HYPOCRITES and LOVE THE SONG NOT BECAUSE THE SINGER'S GOOD-LOOKING OR IT'S "IN", OR IT'S A WAY TO BE "COOL" (whatever that means to you), BUT LOVE IT BECAUSE IT'S A GOOD SONG. (yes, people nowadays overlook the song for being too engrossed over the revivor. I don't call them singers anymore, just revivors or replayers.) As for you singers/revivors (if there's any who reads this now)... hello! You're not even one-fourth of the original singer's talent. Maybe yeah, you have the talent, but you're afraid to let your audience see it because it's LAME! So don't act like you OWN the song. Besides, don't you think you're gaining way much of YOUR popularity by getting OTHERS' work?! GO AHEAD AND WRITE YOUR OWN MATERIAL! [!-- END SKIP. YOU MAY PROCEED READING. --] Whew, that's well! I'll come back with socials (shorter ones) and contents inspired by Mushroom's January 26 entry. To complete this blog rest, I'll plug all of you: old links, new links, unapproved, on hiatus and dead~! Aikon Akiko Alexiel Aliah Anubis Ashley April Aoi Bea Beret CCChan Chibihoshi Christel Chill CrimsonSaku Danton Dawyl Demi Descartes Domineko Eden Emily Enotenshi Erised Floe Foxy Garnet Glenn Hatsumi HellsAngel Himitsu Icee Ira Izzy Jasmine Jeneko JM Joey Josh Julie Kazie Keet Kei Kikiam Kim Kit Koyasu Kurayami Kuruta Luna-Neko Machi Marge Mattel Mayee Miao Misaki Mushroom Nekoneko Noelle Poknat Prism Resha Rei Reine Reisa Riette Rina Rose Sakura Sakurazuki Sapphyre Sarj Satsuki Scarlett Schrenima Shini Shinjita Shire Snap Soleil Spoon Sushi Taishi Tenshii Tinze Trine Fusion Yuki Yara Zero-kun Well, jaa to all. Take care and pray always! NICE TO BE ALIVE!
[Feeling] *grins* *sniggers* *laughs*
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